


The Next Day

by Anonymous



Series: Life of the Reverse Batfamily [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Adult Damian Wayne, Age Reversal, Age Swap, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Robin Reversal, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Alternate Universe- Age Reversal, Angst, Big Brothers, Brother Feels, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brotherhood, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Damian Wayne Feels, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne deserves better, Damian Wayne is a good brother, Damian is the eldest, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally hurt Damian, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Gen, Good Grandparent Alfred Pennyworth, Good Sibling Cassandra Cain, Hurt Damian Wayne, Hurt/Comfort, Little Brothers, Older Damian Wayne, Older Sibling Damian Wayne, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Bruce Wayne, Platonic Cuddling, Protective Siblings, Protective Stephanie Brown, Protective Tim Drake, Reverse Age Batsiblings, Robin reversal, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Siblings, Siblings standing for other siblings, Snuggling, Tim Drake and Damian Wayne Are Good Brothers, siblings looking out for siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-10-14 00:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20591393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It is two hours remaining to breakfast. While sitting on her bed Cass replays the events of the last night or what you can say early morning in her head.The fic was previously titled ''The morning after''.OrDamian is hurt and his siblings are there for him.





	1. In which Cass spends too much time in her head

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Batmango](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batmango/gifts).

> Hi!
> 
> This is next part to "He will live" which is my first fic.  
The inspiration for this part is @Batmango who was kind enough to comment and suggest this. Thank you.
> 
> Also, English is not my first language and I am not saying it as an excuse. I am saying because if you feel like I have used a phrase wrong, some wrong structure of sentence or have gone way too formal, feel free to let me know. 
> 
> Moreover, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated. I welcome constructive criticism.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is two hours remaining to breakfast. While sitting on her bed Cass replays the events of the last night or what you can say early morning in her head.

It is two hours remaining for breakfast. While sitting on her bed, Cass replays the events of the last night or what you can say early morning in her head. They had all come upstairs bringing the new child with them. They were all gathered in the dining room, outside the kitchen, for discussion about the latest events, then. Though, the discussion hadn’t gone much further. They had just learned how their father had found the newest child. The replies from her siblings’ sides had been more whispers and murmurs than actual words.

Their eldest brother had stepped out of the kitchen. The moment they all had noticed his presence, all the whispers and murmurs had died down. Then he had turned to leave only to be stopped by his father. What appeared to be a brief conversation afterwards was disturbing in a way Cass could not pinpoint.

She could not stop thinking about the earlier events. They were unsettling her. Damian had not gone to patrol. He never skipped patrol, unless one of his siblings needed him to stay with them. This time all of his siblings were fine and on patrol. Moreover, when Cass saw him stepping out of the kitchen, she noticed various things:

  * Firstly, he was not breathing normally. It looked like he had trouble breathing earlier. His breathing looked like it was better than what it might have had been but not fully under control.

  * Secondly, when all of them had stopped talking all of a sudden, Cass thinks she saw hurt written all over his face for a moment. He must have thought they stopped talking because they didn’t want him there.

  * Thirdly, during all the conversation and Bruce’s _somewhat_ accusations, she remembers seeing him flinching minutely several times. He had covered it well but she had observed it well. She wonders if they all observed that. After all, her brother was having a hard time_ hiding his hurt_ while _getting hurt_.

  * Before he had turned to leave, the breathing had become ragged. It appeared breathing had become difficult for him again.

She wants to talk about this with her family, especially with her siblings. She wants to discuss with them about how all of them have unintentionally hurt him and how to rectify it. She doesn’t want to get him emotionally hurt and certainly not because of them. Then there is all talking to Bruce about it.

She makes up her mind to do something about this matter. She is determined to do something. What she is not sure about is how to approach this topic with either side. 

She doesn’t know Damian that much. Sure, she_ knows about him but_ she _doesn’t know him_. They have a nice relationship but they are not very close. Bruce, Tim and everyone who knows them thinks that they would be close or closest even, because of their similar backgrounds, but they aren’t. It is Stephanie and Damian who are the closest. That would come as a shock to some but not many people know that. Even Bruce and Tim have made their (wrong) assumption about Cass and Damian being the closest.

Cass does have a great bond with Stephanie. They are like the best sisters (in her opinion). Though, if she had to point who had the strongest bond between two siblings among all her siblings: it would be Damian and Stephanie. The thing is they don’t tell this by their words. They show it by their actions.

Steph knows Damian the best. She must have noticed these things too, last night. She should talk with Steph.

Cass gets up from her bed to go to Steph.


	2. Stephanie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephanie wants some sleep before Alfred comes to knock at the door calling her for breakfast downstairs. Instead of her getting some sleep, we get her POV.

Stephanie wants some sleep before Alfred comes to knock at the door calling her for breakfast downstairs. She changes her side for the hundredth time. Though there are two hours to breakfast, she is unable to find any sleep. She wants an undisturbed nap and a good breakfast before she talks to Bruce and Damian. 

She needs to talk to them. She has been living here for years now and talking to Bruce about Damian is like hitting a brick wall, where he doesn’t understand what to do and instead of helping Damian, he thinks Damian is just being difficult and handful and takes out his anger on him. 

While talking to Damian about topics like these, she has to be mindful of his mental health because it is not very great. They did get him out of that abuse there but getting him out of there, without any proper help and expecting him to adjust in whole new and different environment according to their expectations and without telling clearly what those expectations are, all these things combined have done wonders to his brain. 

She was very young when she first came here but when she could understand him then, why couldn’t others?

She hates it. She really_, really hates it_ when they are all **too quick to judge** him but **too slow** to **understand** and **help** him.

She knows he has come a long way and has improved a_ lot. _But he still gets judged and taunted for what he is not anymore, for what he is trying to leave behind, for what he is trying his hardest to forget. Those taunts come in the form of sometimes nicknames or sometimes jabs.

She often wonders that the things, which are not even intended to hurt her and were pointed towards her brother, hurt her so much then how much they would hurt him.

Both Cass and Tim don’t know it but today is the anniversary of his death. Whenever the day starts approaching, he starts getting frequent flashbacks and panic attacks. He also becomes more sensitive and starts getting hurt by the most minor things. 

He had told her once that words (hurtful words by his loved ones) hurt him even more than the sword piercing through his heart and he knows what the latter feels like. 

She has decided she would either talk to him in the morning or evening (when he would be back from work), but she wants to talk about it with all of them as soon as she can. 

They all need to know that they are hurting him without even realizing that they are hurting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your kudos and comments are appreciated.
> 
> Constructive criticism is most welcome.


	3. Sisters and Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter in which Cass and Steph talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to know your thoughts about it.

Stephanie hears that inevitable knock on her door but one glance at the time on her wall clock tells her that the other person is not Alfred. She opens the door and finds Cass on the other side.

Cass showing up outside her room an hour before breakfast after they have had a late patrol is very unusual. Though, Stephanie supposes that this might be unusual but not unpleasant.

Stephanie steps to the side and lets Cass in her room. Cass goes to sit on her bed. Steph joins her. They both start talking about all the things. From galas they both hate attending to planning the preparation for Tim’s upcoming birthday, they talk about all the things.

Stephanie has a feeling that Cass wants to talk about something else. But, she might not be ready to just jump so soon to the topic she came here to discuss. So, Stephanie doesn’t mention or points that out.

After a while, Cass talks about what she actually came to discuss.  _ Damian. _

Honestly, Steph is a bit upset inside that Cass wants to talk about Damian but not Bruce’s attitude towards him. They had all witnessed it last night or rather early morning. 

When Bruce had earlier taken Steph in as his ward, his attitude towards Damian had been same since it is now. After Damian died, it appeared as Bruce had realized his mistake. She had seen him suffer and mourn the loss of his son. She had seen him regret that he couldn’t show his love to his son. That he only reacted when he made a mistake. That he had only shown him his anger or made him feel his disappointment. Those days were too much for Bruce.

When Damian had returned, Bruce had become better with him. Showed him that he did love him. Tried to show him that he was proud of him too.

Afterwards, some events had happened and also Bruce had taken Cass in and the relation between father and son had again become strained. 

Not to mention, Tim had figured out Batman’s identity by recognizing one of Damain’s moves as the one used by League of Shadows. (League of Shadows had attacked Gotham a while before). After finding out this tidbit from Timothy and realizing the fact that Damian had used one of those moves that could have been lethal, Bruce had been furious with Damian. Had lectured him that he was returning to his old ways and saying whatnot. What he did not consider for a second that Damian had used that lethal move modified to as non-lethal. Besides, at that time Bruce was captured in one of Riddler’s very lethal traps and was not able to get out. Had Damian not done that, Bruce would not have been alive or would have gotten some very permanent injuries. But Bruce had brushed off that fact.

To say all this had hurt her brother would be an understatement. He was time and again reminded that he was unwanted here. That they all wished somehow that he hadn’t existed. How he always pretended that he did not hear the comments that Bruce should have been more careful or comments about how they all wondered what was Bruce thinking.

Damian had been somewhat jealous of Cass and Tim though he did not act out on it. Tim was the son Damian thought he could never be. Bruce had wanted Tim and Cass and had adopted them too whereas he had never publically acknowledged his son. No one knew about Damian in Gotham. He was homeschooled. And in the situations or scenarios where he has to give his surname, Stephanie had seen him use Kent for that purpose. She never commented on it or teased him about it because she knew that he couldn’t use Wayne. Once, Damian had tried when they were little but Bruce had given a whole big lecture and also gave some logic that if someone dug deeper they would find out his maternal side and it would be a problem for all of them. Steph and Damian both weren’t sure whether it was a fact or an excuse given at that time. 

But she can imagine that it must sting when you can’t use your family name and your siblings are allowed to do so. It hurt him more because he thought that was the only connection he had with his father. Tim and Cass were both called Tim Drake-Wayne and Cassandra Cain-Wayne in public.

Stephanie listens to Cass talking. There are some of the things she can tell her and some she cannot. Because it is about their brother and Steph thinks that he should have the right that what things others know about him. If he is okay with them knowing then it is okay but telling some of those things, well… that isn’t her place.

It seems like Cass had come with bullet points in her head about what she wants to talk about and is determined to know the answers to things that have been bothering her.

Cass tells that the first thing she noticed this morning was that he was not breathing normally. It looked like he had trouble breathing earlier. His breathing looked like it was better than what it might have had been but not fully under control. Steph is not sure if she can tell this to Cass and Tim that today is the anniversary of his death. Whenever the day starts approaching, Damian starts getting frequent flashbacks and panic attacks. He also becomes more sensitive and starts getting hurt by the most minor things. 

Cass is looking at her as if she expects an answer. Okay, she can do this. She can tell her a close truth and not a complete lie. So, Steph tells her that it is because something very traumatic happened to him at this time of the year once and precisely today. So, when the date starts nearing, he starts getting flashbacks and panic attacks even more than usual. The mention of more than usual has Cass eying Steph critically as if she is lying. Steph isn’t so she holds her gaze. Then, she realizes that Cass is eying her like that because she wasn’t aware that it was usual for him to get that many flashbacks.  _ Well, Stephanie thinks, Big Brother may act tough but doesn’t mean that he is made of steel. _

Second point Cass raises is that when all of them had stopped talking all of a sudden, Cass thinks she saw hurt written all over his face for a moment. He must have thought they stopped talking because they didn’t want him there. Steph has to reply that this was because it is happening more often now that they stop talking whenever he walks into the room they are at. Or they just stop having their conversations whenever he sits near them. 

Cass mentions that she saw Damian flinching, though minutely, several times. He had covered it well but she had observed it anyway. She wonders if they all observed that. Stephanie tells her she did observe that because it was not the first time Bruce accusing him and Damian flinching. Again, Cass is looking at her as Steph is lying. Steph is not sure while she is telling her this if Cass is going to doubt. Nevertheless, Cass looks satisfied with her answer after a minute.

Last thing Cass tells Steph is that before he had turned to leave, the breathing had become ragged. It appeared breathing had become difficult for him again. Steph doesn’t know the correct answer but she thinks that he has been exhausted lately and breathing problem and Bruce’s insistence that he stay there at that time must not have helped.

What Cass says in last surprises her. She asks Steph that they should do something about it. They should help their brother and show him that they all do care about him and love him and also talk to Bruce about this. She asks if Stephanie would join on this. 

“Well, yes.”

Maybe they can do something about it. Together.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your kudos and comments are appreciated.
> 
> Constructive criticism is most welcome.


	4. Siblings (Part 1: Enter Tim)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim, Damian, and sibling fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter was getting long in my opinion so I have decided to make it in parts. This is the first part of the chapter, 'Siblings'.
> 
> Tim and Damian having a good relationship is what I want to read and write. There are not many fics with that so I hope I can contribute to that.
> 
> I would love to know what you think about this chapter.

Since it has become clear that Stephanie would not be able to get her much-desired sleep, why not she be the one to go to Tim. She hopes that she is not going to disturb Tim by waking him up early. He is usually sleep deprived so she is feeling bad right now about disturbing him.

Turns out she was worried about waking him up in vain. He hadn’t gone to sleep in the first place.

“Stephanie stop! Don’t pull the computer chair from the back like that.”

“...”

“I said stop. I am losing my balance. I would fall.”

“Not going to let you fall before you have had your much-needed sleep.”

“That is not very reassuring!”

* * *

The conversation with Tim went smoothly so now Steph goes to Alfred.

* * *

“Misteress Stephanie! It is a surprise. You are here early today.”

“Yes, Alfred and…”

“What is the matter?”

She looks to her side. She has no idea how to tell Alfred and ask what she wants to. It turns out that she doesn’t need to.

“Where would you all be taking your breakfast?”

“Aren’t you always the one making us coming to the dining table with no discussion of work especially at the time of breakfast so why this question?”

“Today is cold. “

“Not that much cold.”

“It is much for whom winter affects the most. It would not be right if they get sick because of my insistence to come downstairs.” Stephanie gets what is being implied.

“He has not left for work today?”

“Not yet. Trying to conquer the cold right now.”

“Just cold?”

“You know what else, Young Mistress. And I would like if he stays in today and not feel like that he has to leave.”

“He always leaves the manor this day. What do you mean by that he feels like he has to?”

“You know him the best, Stephanie.”

“Doesn’t mean that I know everything, Alf.”

“If he needs something and asks for that, he thinks he is bothering us and being a burden to us. And that is when we are talking about basic needs. Comfort and reassurances are very far away things.”

“I have an idea but we might need your help.”

“You have my full support and blessings.”

That puts a really wide smile on Steph’s face.

* * *

“It is cold today.”

“Not so cold, Steph”

“Not for you. Dami is not feeling well today.”

“You told me that earlier.”

Steph went to Tim. He was being confused at first. But after understanding that he can help Dami feel better and when it clicked that it might also mean cuddles, he instantly ran to Damian’s room.

Stephanie shakes her head. These two never cease to amuse her. They both love each other, can’t live without each other but at the same time can’t stand each other either. Their personalities and nature are different which leads to disagreements but at the same time, they do make a good duo.

Tim is hesitant when it comes to Damian. It feels like that Tim wants to show how much he loves Dami but hesitates like he think that Dami would hate him if he did that. Which is a stupid assumption according to Steph. Her two brothers are total idiots but she is the only one who can call them that.

* * *

Tim knocks at the door.

“I would be up in a moment, Pennyworth.”

Upon hearing that, he tries opening the door and finds out that it was not locked. It usually isn’t. Maybe because Tim likes to silently come to his room at nights sometimes, get on the other side of the bed and join him and leaves earlier so there would be no questions or teasing.

“Uh, not Alfred”, Tim replies while coming inside the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. Tim is not sure if he should have even come inside the room without permission, let alone sit here.

“Need something?”

And isn’t that sad that his elder brother thinks that he only comes to him when he needs something but even sadder thing is that it is a true statement, not an assumption.

“I came to know that you are not feeling well.”

“That is not true.”

“Well, you are under I don’t know how many blankets and still shivering.”

He hears sniffling.

Tim had not said that to make him cry.

“I am sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I made you cry that’s why.”

That makes Damian head appear from under numerous blankets.

  
“Why do you think you made me cry, Timothy?”

Tim doesn’t know what to reply to that so he responds by asking, “I … Is it okay if I join you?”

That gets him a quizzical look while the effect is ruined by even more shivering than before. The way he had been shivering earlier, Tim had thought more shivering was not possible but looks like he was wrong. His brother is not feeling well and he has no idea what to do. He starts feeling guilty too because he had thought that he could just cuddle him. He feels lost having no idea how and what to do.

He cards his hands through Damian’s hair. Damian responds by shifting blankets. For a moment, Tim doesn’t understand. Then he gets that Damian has made some space for him and is holding the blanket like that as a silent invitation.

He joins him and there is shifting again and this time Tim helps. Tim is pretty sure they are under at least six blankets. He encircles his arms around Damian.

“You okay?”  
After asking, Tim realizes how stupid that question was. Of course, he is not okay. It is not like D is under so many blankets for a picnic or shivering so much because it is fun. While Tim is mentally scolding himself, Tim feels Damian shaking his head against Tim’s shoulder in response to his question.

They are both fully under the blankets laying on their sides facing each other with Damian’s head against his shoulder and Tim’s arm across Damian. Damian has one of his arms across Tim the same way. Tim now risks putting his legs across Dami’s legs. He seems like a mini octopus lying on side and top of Damian. Damian chuckles when he tells him about the mini octopus mental image and tells him he must be looking more like a starfish. They both start arguing about it and start feeling more like themselves.

“Starfish and I have nothing in common.”

“Starfishes are cute.”

“Are you calling me cute?”

“Mayyyybeee…”

“And your point is not valid because you would call any and every animal cute.”

“But I am not wrong. All the animals are so beautiful and all the little animals are so cute.”

“I am not little!”

“You are my little brother.”

“Well, I refuse to be compared with any animal you like when the only thing similarity you can think between me and the animal is being cute!”

He is hearing so much laughter. Damian is already shivering so much and now he is shaking from laughter which is a bit unnerving. Unnerving might not be the right word but seriously Tim can’t think of any right word at the moment when his brother who is not feeling well, is under six blankets, one thick cover, shivering from cold and then laughing, LAUGHING at him! The traitor! And Damian is mostly under him so him shaking and laughing like that means Tim is feeling vibrations under him which are also unsettling.

“Why are you laughing at me like that?” Tim asks defensively.

“I was not laughing at you, little one. I was laughing because of your response.”

“Little one! At least this is progress that I am not the ‘Littlest One’ anymore.”  
“No. You are the Smallest One from now on.”

They start saying things like that back and forth and Tim doesn’t feel as awkward as before.  
That doesn’t translate to Tim feeling very glad about being compared to baby elephants or tiger cubs, no matter how cute they are. Tim never thought Dami would ever use the word ‘cute’ for anyone and certainly not for Tim. Seems like its just Tim’s luck.

* * *

After half an hour of cuddling and snuggling, Damian asks Tim if he has forgotten to go for breakfast. Tim answers that he doesn’t feel like it and asks Dami if he is hungry.

“I am not that hungry but your stomach is roaring, Timothy.”

“It is not.”

“It is.” As if to prove Damian’s point, his stomach gives a big roar embarrassing Tim.

“I will eat when you eat, D.”

“M not feelin’ up fol dath,” Damian mumbles against his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone who left kudos, commented and/or subscribed to this, Thank you. You all are awesome.


	5. Interlude: Damian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian’s POV. a.k.a angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Damian’s POV or a trip inside his head. This takes place some hours before Tim came into the room. Or you can say right after “He Will Live.”
> 
> Thank you all for your kudos and comments.

He couldn’t sleep. He had returned to his room after the conversation he had at 2 AM. Escaping to his room had seemed really good then. Now, he isn’t sure if it even made a difference. He doesn’t feel any better lying on his bed. He was only having a problem controlling his breathing earlier but now he feels himself shaking. Shivering? Okay, now cold from outside too. Luckily, he had placed his pile of blankets on one side of his bed. He was already feeling exhausted and cold inside but now he has started to feel cold from outside too. Why? Oh great. His window is open and _ very cold _ air is in his room freezing him.

He stands up, and even that feels like a gigantic task, goes towards his window and shuts it locked. He returns to his bed and starts placing blankets one by one above him. He may have shut the window but the weather is cold. It would be colder in the morning. Even after living several years here, he has still not gotten used to Gothan’s weather. But the cold isn’t the only reason for his shivering right now.

After placing all the blankets over him, he tries to take deep breaths. He would surely not get any sleep tonight. Because of the exhaustion, he doesn’t find in himself to leave for his apartment.

He decides he will leave before others wake up and spend the day in his apartment. If they ask him, he would tell them he had gone to his job. It would hurt him to lie to his sisters and brothers. At the same time, it is not like he has any other option. He can’t tell them that he spent the whole day in his apartment feeling like an absolute mess. That he spent most of the time hugging himself because he wanted to be hugged.

He is crying now. He cries for a long time and he can’t understand why he is crying. Is he mourning his death, which is no longer death? Or is he regretting that he lives? That he mourns that he is not dead.

But does that even make any difference? He is a burden on so many people. He bothers others so much. He is just tired. He wants to sleep. He wants to sleep and not wake up again. Right now, he would just like to sleep. The plan to not wake up ever has to wait. After all, next week there is a function in Tim’s school and he has asked him to attend. After that, he will resume the plan. Stupid school that Tim goes to. Always meddling with his plans of eternal sleep.

He knows it is fruitless to try to go to sleep tonight. He will try anyway. He is one stubborn man.

* * *

Neither the sleep comes nor the rest. He has spent the previous time shifting from side to side on his bed. The only thing that came and keeps coming were bad memories and even uglier thoughts. Memories he has tried to bury deep. So deep that one would have to dig and dig to reach to them. Memories buried so deep inside floating over to the surface and tearing him apart from inside.

He keeps seeing the faces with frustration and disappointment aimed at him. He is reminded of his flaws again and again. He keeps hearing the words that have made clear how he is unworthy and undeserving of any love, any trust or any affection.

_ “Why can’t you love me for me?” _

_ “I am too much of a perfectionist to do that.” _

  
  
  


_ “Why don’t you trust me?” _

_ “You have to earn that trust.” _

He is too flawed to be loved. He is not deserving of any trust. He is a failure. A disappointment. A mistake. A huge regret.

Everything he touches turns to dust.

He remembers his father’s face. Fresh face always turned exhausted at the mention of him.

He remembers his peers’ upturned noses at him.

He is well aware of his siblings’ hesitance towards him. And no one needs to know if that hesitance just breaks his heart into pieces. Hesitance towards him as he would hurt them. Has he ever hurt them? He doesn’t think so. But the fact that he doesn’t think so necessarily is not the answer no.

His parents haven’t hurt him. They don’t think they have ever hurt him or tried to hurt him. Why would they? They just tried to make him better. To make him strong. They did all that for him. No. That is not true. He doesn’t have the energy right now to contemplate all this for the millionth time.

* * *

He wonders what would have happened had his mother and father not met. _ The world would have been saved from a disgusting monster such as you. _

He is a monster. That is what he is. And everyone HATES monsters.

He has heard many children are scared of monsters when growing up. Are his siblings afraid of him too? Do they also think that he would harm them? That he would hurt those whom he has promised himself that he would protect?

He likes to be in their presence. In their company. Likes to see Cassandra silently teasing Tim. Likes to hear Stephanie laugh. Likes to see Timothy smile. Likes to see Timothy always defeating both Stephanie and Cassandra at every strategic game. At the same time, he feels like he is intruding. Why would they want him to be in their company? They play. He hadn’t been aware of what playing was. Stephanie had to take him to a park to show that. Why would anyone of them want him around when he never knew what they were talking about? 

He knows his father is not the best with him. That is why he is here most of the time. Ironic? Maybe. He is here most of the time to make sure that his father is not like that to others, to his sisters and brother(s). The thing he wished someone had done for him when he was younger. Had intervened. No one had. He won’t let them go through it. He will make sure that Stephanie, Timothy and Cassandra get what is best for them.

He has kept the nature of his relationship with his father hidden from his siblings. They don’t need to know. They do not need that burden. But today, his father ruined it. It is not like he has not shouted at him before, has not spent hours lecturing him, has not reminded him of everything he lacks, everything he will never be but never in front of his siblings. Father always treats them good.

He had never thought that Father would do anything like this to ruin how his children perceived him. Maybe that won’t make a difference. Maybe they won’t see as their eldest brother being scolded as wrong. Maybe they have already seen this coming. Maybe it should have happened a long time ago.

But maybe, they won’t let it go. Maybe they would want answers. Maybe they would demand explanation.

That is a lot of maybes but he tries to prepare himself for the possible demand that he explains what was that happened then.

Right now, he just closes his eyes tight shut.

Suddenly the picture of that child comes in front of him in his memory. Father has taken in another one. Or will do in the morning. The morning he has wanted for years to spend with his father holding him. The morning his father will spend doing paperwork and signing adoption papers for the new boy. The same morning, he will spend feeling ill and drowsy. The same morning he will be trembling and shivering not just with cold but also fear. The same morning, every year, he cries until no tears are left and still continues to cry. The same morning he is always reminded that though he has surrounded himself with some people, he is actually alone.

* * *

His father had also reminded him of his violent tendencies. He has all but tried his best to improve. He thinks he did that. Others disagree. They are right. Everyone else is right.

He had also accused him of being hurtful. Is accused the right word? He doesn’t care. What he knows is he had felt so much tightness in his throat, and a lump in his throat at the implication.

His siblings had flinched at the statement. Has he…..has he hurt them? He thought he never hurt them. He always tried to be his best self around them. He is not even a good brother. 

Is that even a surprise? He is neither a good grandson nor a son. He has also been reminded that he is not a good friend. 

Then why even the thought of not being a good older brother hurt so much? He should be used to not being good at any relation by now.

* * *

He had told the kid that he will live. He meant that not only his attitude would ensure he will live but also that he will ensure his protection. He won’t let anyone come near the boy to harm him. If someone did even despite that, he will torn them to shreds. He may have never gotten the name ‘Wayne’ but he has been an ‘Al-Ghul’ over a decade.

He would not let any evil towards his sisters and brothers. If that happens despite that, he will make sure they regret every second of it.

He has done it before.

He will do it again.

Only when it comes to his sisters and brothers.

* * *

He tried so much to be better. And he failed every time at that miserably. He had made himself so much better and had thought that he couldn’t have done that more than that. His mother showed him how wrong he was. She showed him what better was. A clone of him and better in every way. So much better that he was going to replace him.

His father had not made clones. He had taken in children. So many children. Father had frowned when they first met whereas he smiled when he met and signed Timothy and Cassandra’s adoptions papers. He had grinned when he had taken in Stephanie as his ward.

Every time they were mentioned, he had a fond look on his face. Whenever Damian was mentioned, he looked exhausted and tired.

He would never attend Damian’s birthday but will come running while leaving his most important meetings when one of them called.

All the other children of Father are actually wanted by him. His father never wanted him.

Why would anyone ever want him? He is not worth anyone’s time. He is not deserving of any love.

Why would his Father ever want him? Why would he even love him?

He had Stephanie. Stephanie with the bright smile and a pure heart. Stephanie, who understood everyone. Stephanie who was even kind to a monster like him. Stephanie who has the best social skills. Stephanie, who would bring a smile to Father’s face.

Why would his Father ever want him? Why would he even love him?

He had Cassandra. Cassandra, the perfect child. Cassandra, who is the best at everything. Cassandra who can read people like a book when he always misses the most obvious cues much to others’ frustration. Cassandra, who refused to kill. She was the one who from the start knew killing was wrong. Cassandra, who was his father’s favourite. Cassandra, who has a grace others envy. Cassandra, who is his father’s favourite. 

  
  


Why would his Father ever want him? Why would he even love him?

He had Timothy. Timothy who was Bruce Wayne’s son in everything but blood. Timothy, who is everything that Damian can never be. Timothy, who rivals their father at detective work. Timothy, who surpasses his father at many things at a young age. Timothy, who is a genius. Timothy, who is the actual heir to both legacies of his father. His father has named him heir. It is not Damian’s assumption. Timothy, who will take both, the cowl and the ownership of Wayne Enterprises. 

Why would his father ever want him? He fails at everything they succeed in. And both his mother and father hate failure.

He fails at social skills. He can’t stand so many people. He can’t stand so much noise. He is not a good detective. He is not even a good person.

A failure is all he is.

* * *

He is shifting from side to side. Upon closing his eyes, he keeps reliving the memory of being stabbed by the Heretic. Upon opening his eyes, he is clawed by his thoughts. He doesn’t know what is worse. Reliving that or listening to his thoughts. He opens his eyes and tries to focus on something in his room. Not that this is something he can control.

_ You are unwanted. _

_ You don’t deserve to be loved. _

_ You are pathetic. _

_ You are worthless. _

_ You are a monster _

_ You are disgusting. _

_ Love you? You disgust them. _

_ You are a disappointment to two families, two bloodlines. _

_ You are a disgrace. _

_ Both of your parents regret you. _

_ No one wants you. _

_ Your friends barely tolerate you. _

_ You don’t deserve to live. _

_ Your sisters are too kind to tell you all this. _

_ Your brother is too afraid of you to even speak with you. _

_ No one would care if you live or you die. _

_ They hate that you live. _

_ They will all celebrate that you die. _

_ You are despicable. _

_ Why would anyone waste their time with you? _

_ You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive. _

* * *

Then all of those thoughts keep coming to his head again and again. He tries to shush them by trying to answer them.

_ You are unwanted. _

Like he didn’t know that. 

  
  


_ You don’t deserve to be loved. _

He knows that too.

  
  


_ You are pathetic. _

Yeah, try sleeping with screaming in your ears and memories of your 25 years rushing in a fast forward mode before you. 

  
  


_ You are worthless. _

All of them have made it clear. No need to repeat that.

  
  


_ You are a monster _

Not telling anything new. He is always reminded of the fact when every time he looks in a mirror.

  
  


_ You are disgusting. _

He is.

  
  


_ Love you? You disgust them. _

A person can still wish.

  
  


_ You are a disappointment to two families, two bloodlines. _

All of them have told him that in explicit detail. One has never given him the name of that line and the other one has disowned him from that.

  
  


_ You are a disgrace. _

He is.

  
  


_ Both of your parents regret you. _

They don’t hide it. It is clear as the day. 

  
  


_ No one wants you. _

Why would anyone?

  
  


_ Your friends barely tolerate you. _

They are good people. They feel obligated to tolerate me.

  
  


_ You don’t deserve to live. _

No. I know.

  
  


_ Your sisters are too kind to tell you all this. _

They are.

  
  


_ Your brother is too afraid of you to even speak with you. _

I wish he would not be afraid of me. I love him so much.

  
  


_ No one would care if you live or you die. _

That is true. He is just a burden. 

  
  


_ They hate that you live. _

Everyone hates the burden.

  
  


_ They will all celebrate that you die. _

Everyone gets happy when a heavy burden is lifted off their shoulder.

  
  


_ You are despicable. _

He despises himself too. 

  
  


_ Why would anyone waste their time with you? _

He has no idea why. No answers to this.

  
  


_ You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive. _

He’d be.

_______________________________

He continues to shift from side to side restlessly. Those thoughts keep coming again and again. 

_ You are unwanted. _

_ You don’t deserve to be loved. _

_ You are pathetic. _

_ You are worthless. _

_ You are a monster _

_ You are disgusting. _

_ Love you? You disgust them. _

_ You are a disappointment to two families, two bloodlines. _

_ You are a disgrace. _

_ Both of your parents regret you. _

_ No one wants you. _

_ Your friends barely tolerate you. _

_ You don’t deserve to live. _

_ Your sisters are too kind to tell you all this. _

_ Your brother is too afraid of you to even speak with you. _

_ No one would care if you live or you die. _

_ They hate that you live. _

_ They will all celebrate that you die. _

_ You are despicable. _

_ Why would anyone waste their time with you? _

_ You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive. _

* * *

He just wants to get some strength and leave for his apartment. He feels like he will start screaming soon. He doesn’t want to do that in the manor. He shifts again on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Why can’t you love me for me?”  
“I am too much of a perfectionist to do that.”  
-Batman and Robin (2009)
> 
> “Why don’t you trust me?”  
“You have to earn that trust.”  
-Batman and Robin (2009)
> 
> \-----------------------------------------------  
Kudos and comments are appreciated.
> 
> What are your thoughts? Comment below.


	6. Siblings (Part 2: Of Breakfast and Breakdown)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian's siblings are there to tell him how much they love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters earlier were more descriptive. Whereas, this chapter is dialogues heavy.
> 
> To everyone who commented, subscribed, bookmarked and/or left kudos, you all are AWESOME. And keep me so much motivated so thank you.

Tim cards his fingers through Damian’s hair. He keeps running his fingers through his hair slowly.

“Come on Dami. You should eat something.”

“Not hungry.” Tim is not sure why Damian’s voice is sounding small. It could be because his face is on Tim’s shoulder which he is lying on or because it seems like he is a minute away from crying. Both of these things combined could be the reason.

“You need to eat something.”

“Don’t...don’t want to.”

“You haven’t eaten anything. I don’t remember you eating anything last night either. Did you?”

He feels Damian minutely shake his head.

“Eat some. Just a few bites.”

“You eat.”

“Damiii… for me. Please? Just a few bites. Not more if you don’t want. Okay?”

“Just...just few bites?”

“Just few bites.”

“..Okay.”

Tim kisses on his forehead. 

“I think they will bring breakfast here.” Tim is not sure if Alfred would let them but Stephanie had told him that breakfast

would be brought here. He is not sure though. If they don’t succeed though, he will just go and sneak a couple of sandwiches.

“Here?”

“Here.” 

“...”

“Hey, D. Is it not okay? I mean -

Before Tim could complete his sentence, there is a knock at the door and Tim feels Damian somewhat stiffen at that. Just after the knock, Tim sees Stephanie enters with two trays, behind her is Cass with one tray full of teacups and teapot and behind them is Jason. Damian’s back is at the door so he doesn’t know how many people have entered. 

Stephanie comes forward carrying the trays inside and placing the trays on the table which is on the other side of the room saying, “It is just us, D.”

“Tea or Coffee?” Upon hearing Cass’ voice, Tim feels Damian stiffening so he starts running his hand up and down his back to calm him down silently reassuring him that they all being here at the same time is not a bad thing. Luckily, Dami understands what he is trying to convey. But that doesn’t mean he has stopped tightening his arms around Tim as if somehow want to melt just then and there or disappear with Tim. Tim resumes running his other hand through his hair.

All the others are setting things on the table with their backs towards both of them. Tim kisses on Damian’s forehead. After a minute, Damian lifts his head from Tim’s shoulder and looks towards Tim. Tim smiles softly at him. He is thinking of saying something soothing to say to him because the presence of so many people is making Damian anxious. 

Before Tim can say anything, Steph says, “We brought breakfast.”

“For how many people?” Damian asks in a very small voice.

“For the five of us.”

“Five?” 

“And Alfred let you?” Damian and Tim asked at the same time.

“Yes.”

* * *

“Come on, D. Eat something.”

“Don’t want to.”

“You agreed earlier. Just a few bites, okay? I will bring the plate here.”

“Don’t leave! I - I mean if that is okay with you.” His volume is so low if Tim wasn’t there, he would have never known that Damian had even spoken anything.

“Of course, it is okay, D.”

“T-thank you.” Tim kisses on his forehead. “It is okay. You don’t have to thank me or anything.”

“Steph, could you bring a plate of sandwiches and a cup of tea here please?”

“What, no coffee?”

Tim just gives her a flat look.

“Here.” Steph puts the cup of tea on the side drawer and hands Tim the plate with sandwiches. ”And tell me if either of you need anything.”

She turns to go with others to have breakfast.

“Here. Eat some.”

“You eat.”

Tim has an idea and starts breaking the sandwich in small chunks. 

“Here.”

* * *

  
  


Tim manages to have Damian eat something. He didn’t eat much but at least it was that something had gone down his stomach. 

* * *

They stay there like that. Tim and Damian on the bed and others on the floor and the sofa. Their conversation of how Jason and Bruce met being background noise. Jason is recalling the story and telling them. That kid is dramatic. Tim is sure if Damian had been feeling better and heard his story with full attention, he would have been both proud and amused by the kid's theatrics. 

Tim is slowly running his one hands up and down Damian's back. The other occasionally running through his hair. He had learned half an hour ago that this is relaxing Damian and if he stops doing that for a long duration, Damian grows restless.

* * *

  
  


Tim comes out from the bathroom and sees Damian sitting on the bed against the headboard. His blankets fully around him. His knees are against his chest and his arms around his knees. In short, it appears he is hugging himself. 

He comes to the bed and sits next to him. The others come and sit on the other side of the bed too. 

“If you need anything, tell us.” 

Damian lifts his head from his knees and says “Thank you.” 

“You don't have to thank us.” 

“Thank you for everything you all did and are doing.” 

“We just said you don't have to thank us.” 

But it is like he has not heard them.

“I am sorry for bothering you.” 

“I… I never wanted to be a trouble for you all.” 

“I apologize for being a burden.”

  
  


“Dami, you are our brother and you don’t bother us.”

“You are not a burden to us and never will be.”

“Not a trouble.”

They all answered him that he is not a burden or a trouble to them. It does not seem like he is convinced as he shakes his head. 

“You don’t have to do any of this. None of you.”

“We know that we do not have to. We are doing this because we want to.”

“We love you, Brother.”

“We love you so much.”

  
  


But Damian just keeps shaking his head. 

“You are the one who taught us that love means caring by always caring for us.”

“Let us show our love to you.”

“We are here for you and we will always be here with you having your back.”

“We are here if and when you need or want to talk.”

  
  


“We know that talking might not help you. Us being here will not magically heal those deep wounds. It won’t get better instantly.”

“But we also want you to know that whenever you want us to listen, we will be all ears. When you want to or need to talk, we will be here. When you want to cry, we want you to know that you will always have a shoulder that you can lean on.”

“And we are here for your moral and back support.”

“You don’t have to.”

“We know.”

“Look, we get that no matter how many times we say it that we are doing this because we want to and because we care for you, you don’t believe it so you are going to think that we are under some pressure or obligation. But that is not true.”

“Bu-”

“Let me, please. You trust us, right?”

“I do.”

"Then trust us when we say that we love you.”

“We love you Dami.”

“D, we care about you.”

“Trust you.”

“You all shouldn’t.”

“Dami-”

“You should not trust me. None of you should love me. And you should not care about me.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I am NOT worth it.”

“That is not true.”

“That is every bit true and you should certainly NOT waste your time on a pathetic 25 years old.”

“Yeah, you are right but we don’t see any pathetic man here. The person in front of us is our dearest eldest brother whom we love very much. Also, you can’t tell us what emotions we should or should not feel about our older brother.”

"No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. You have your flaws too. And you know what? We love you. And we love you with all your flaws.”

“You should NOT love me. I am not worth it. You should not trust someone who can kill you instantly in many different ways. You should not care about someone who is not a good person. You should not love a monster. You just shouldn’t.”

“Even when the said someone is your older brother?”

“Especially then.”

“You know we have an elder brother who is always there for us in any way he can. But now you wouldn’t know about him, would you?” 

Tim thinks Stephanie is getting a bit harsh. The last thing they need to be with their brother is being harsh. He looks minutes away from crying in front of them. He would later learn that she is knowingly doing that so Damian can indeed break down. Because she thinks he needs that. 

Tim thinks the words spoken next are in a harsh tone but nonetheless true. So he wraps one arm around Dami in a one arm hug. 

“That elder brother taught us many things. That brother taught us that it does not matter which background we come from. It does not matter how we are different.”

“That brother taught us that we are all unique and being unique is like being a colour palate having different colours and characteristics but all mixing together to paint a beautiful picture.”

“That brother taught us that the only person we should try being better than is ourselves.”

“That brother may not be the man of many words but he is a man of his word.”

“That brother is there even if we disturb him after midnight or even at midday. That brother who works two jobs, volunteers and also has a night shift duty and shouldn’t have any time left for even himself somehow always manages to make time whenever one of us needs or wants it.”

“That brother who did not have a very good example or even a good example of how to interact with others or how to be a sibling. But do you know that he is the best big brother ever? Don’t give us that look. We are not exaggerating.”

“We are just telling you about that awesome brother whom we think you haven’t met yet.”

“He shows us his love more by his actions than words.”

  
  


“But we can read the declaration of love in those actions.”

“The brother who was so happy after getting a little sister that he couldn’t keep that smile off his face. No matter how much he tried to appear stoic.”

“That brother who learned to make waffles just because I liked them. The brother who learned to make all our favourite dishes.”

“That brother who reads to me because I like being read to rather than reading.”

“That brother who sews for me beautiful dresses.”

“That brother who takes me to beautiful nature sceneries whenever I am feeling down. So I take pictures of those scenes. Eventually, I feel better but you know what actually cheers me up?” Tim asks.

Damian shakes his head. 

“Your company. Your presence with me there is that what cheers me up. When you know that I am feeling down, understanding that I don’t want to talk about that, not pushing me about that and you and me just being in each other’s presence, just coexisting is what cheers me up.”

  
  


Damian is looking at them like he thinks that they are lying to him about it. God! Their elder brother had no idea how much he means to them.

He is also having a very vulnerable look on his face. Though Tim has never seen that before but it looks like that Damian is going to break down in front of them all. 

Tim looks at Steph for a moment and tries to silently plead to her to do something about that. Because they were here to make Damian feel loved, to let him know that they are here for him, definitely not to break him down. 

Tim starts rubbing his back. 

Stephanie lifts his chin and then cups his face. 

“Hey! Look at me.”

Pair of emerald eyes look at her. 

“You are worth it, you know. Anyone who has ever thought the opposite or made you feel like that, it is their loss. Huge one.”

Instead of stopping that, it seemed like that those words had the opposite effect accelerating the breakdown. 

“Hey, Dami." 

“D?”

They do not hear the cries but they see the tears falling. He is crying silently with no noise at all. How many times he would have been crying in his room when they would have been walking past his room having no idea what their brother must be going through at that time. 

Though, they don’t know what he is really going through even right now and how to help him. 

Just moments ago, they were assuring him that they will be there whenever he needs them and at this moment, they have no clue how to help him and how to make him feel better.

Tim places Damian's head on his chest near his heart. He wraps his arms around his brother's shaking form. 

They let him cry because he needs it. 

He cries silently for a long time and Tim continues holding him and hugging him.

He cries even after his tears have stopped. Tim knows because his shirt has stopped growing wet now and Damian is still shaking the same way which has more to do with crying and less with cold. 

Some minutes after Damian stops crying, Tim lifts Damian's head from his chest, gently pushing his hair back and wiping the tears from his eyes. He pushes more of his hair back, brings his face closer and plants a kiss on his forehead. He pulls him into a hug again but this time others are joining them too.

  
  


Almost 15 minutes later. 

“Sorry.” 

“You don’t have to apologize.” 

“I am sorry.” 

“Dami, let’s just be. Okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“We are leaving this room for a while. We think we have been overcrowding it. But you can call us anytime, k?” 

There is just a nod against Tim's shoulder. They all leave the room leaving Tim and Damian behind.

“Would you like me to stay, D?”

Damian lifts his head from the shoulder and looks hesitant for a minute and then says in a small voice:

“If that's okay with you? I would really like that.” 

“Of course, D.”

* * *

Tim makes Damian lie on the bed and lies down next to him in the same way they were before breakfast. After a while, Damian falls asleep. Soon, Tim also falls asleep next to his brother. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are welcome.
> 
> So what do you all think of this chapter?
> 
> If you are on tumblr, My tumblr hand is geminibabyhere.
> 
> If you want to discuss, comics or headcanons, I am also on Discord. Gemini_Baby#5414 
> 
> Would love to know your thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> I would really love a beta reader. 
> 
> My tumblr username is shanzashanza and the URL is https://www.tumblr.com/blog/shanzashanza


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